20 Tips To Boost Your Self-Confidence

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We can all go through highs and lows when it comes to self-confidence – particularly as a single person out in the world of dating.

There can be times when you feel unstoppable and everything seems to be going right for you. And then there are other times when you wonder if there’s something wrong with you?

The key to boosting your confidence is to use small strategies on a daily basis that make you feel more resilient and strong. By doing this, your confidence levels stay stable regardless of what gets thrown your way.

When you are dating, you’ll be confronted with a number of different challenges on a day-to-day basis. For instance, you might have met someone you’re really keen on, but they don’t call you back after the first date. You may have friends and family that keep asking you “what’s happening in your love life, why haven’t you met anyone?”. Or you’re best friend falls pregnant while you’ve been unhappily single for several years.

All of these types of circumstances can take a toll on your confidence levels. For some people, they get back up and keep on pushing forward. However, for others, they start to feel fragile, and may even give up on romance altogether.

Rather than getting into a negative spiral, here are 20 small practical tips to boost your self-confidence and keep you positive throughout your day:

Focus on your strengths

Take out a sheet of paper and write down as many positive character traits about yourself as you can in three minutes. Refer to your strong points on a regular basis.

Speak positively about yourself

Make a pact to stop putting yourself down in public. Be positive to others whenever someone asks you about your love life – e.g. “I’m waiting to be inspired”.

Express gratitude

Make a point of giving thanks and showing gratitude at the end of each day. Identify at least five things that you’re thankful for and begin to turn on to the good.

Accept compliments

Whenever anyone gives you a compliment – force yourself to accept this with a simple “thank you.” No more downplaying or deflecting the positives

Say no

Whenever something doesn’t meet your needs, step up and say “no”. It’s time to create boundaries and stop being taken for granted

Stop comparing yourself to others

Your focus now needs to be on you and how you’re moving forward with your own goals. Let go of comparing your progress with others.

Look good/ focus on your grooming

Pay attention to your appearance. First impressions count and this will give you an immediate sense of confidence.


Pay attention to your appearance. First impressions count and this will give you an immediate sense of confidence.

Pursue individual interests/ goals

Take a sheet of paper and write down your 12-month and five-year goals. Focus on the following areas: romance, health, finance, career, friends, family and travel.

Stand straight and smile

Posture can give you a real sense of presence. Wherever you are and whomever you’re with – stand up and smile

Attack procrastination

Kick-start your system by attacking the tasks you’ve been putting off. Start with small challenges and tick them off one by one.

Review your successes

Look back on your last 12 months and review your achievements. Make a list of all the things you can be proud of.

Visualize success

Take 5 minutes a day to visualize being successful in a certain situation. For instance, asking someone out on a date, walking into a busy bar with confidence etc

Fake it until you make it

Make a decision to go through your day acting ‘as if’ you have a strong level of confidence. What do you do differently and how does it feel? Observe this and do it again

Surround yourself with positive friends/ mentors

Be disciplined and keep the company of people who are positive and want you to succeed. Find a mentor that can keep you positive and motivated.

Focus on future solutions, not the past

Your attention now needs to zero in on future solutions rather than dwelling on the past. Ask yourself “How am I going to do this differently moving forward?”

Treat yourself

Take time out on a regular basis to treat yourself. It doesn’t have to cost you anything – just do regular activities purely for you e.g. walk, hot bath, movie, book, cooking a new recipe etc.

Stop over-apologising

It’s time to stop saying sorry for things that aren’t your fault. No more apologies with your texts, emails, phone calls or face-to face-conversations.

Make decisions on your own

Rather than going to others constantly for advice and reassurance, turn inwards. Listen to your intuition and make small decisions for you. It’s time to step up and be responsible.

Keep a confidence journal

Keep a daily journal that monitors all the little victories you have each day. Write down at least three good things you achieved on a daily basis.

Katherine Wei


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