Sex changes a lot during the course of a long-term relationship, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.
When couples first get together, sex typically happens more frequently than at any other time in a relationship. As the relationship progresses, sometimes sex does not.
The increase in stress and frustration with life, in general, can lead to decreased satisfaction in your relationship and decreased sexual feelings towards your partner.
To achieve a happier sex life, here are 4 tips to keep sex interesting in a long-term relationship:
1. Switch it up
Get creative with your sex. Try new positions, bring sex toys into the bedroom, initiate sex at different times of the day, try role-playing, watch pornography together, read an erotic novel together, look at a Kama Sutra book and pick something new to try at least 1x/month. In other words, do anything that is different from your normal routine. This will probably require some conversation ahead of time to make sure your partner is on the same page as you and willing to explore.
2. Commit to making sex a priority
As your lives get busier, it becomes easy to put sex on the back burner. The problem is, when you do that for too long, you may find yourself or your partner feeling disconnected and suddenly realize you have some major relationship issues to work out. Commit to having sex a certain number of times per week or per month and follow through with it, no matter how busy or how tired you are.
3. Realize that sex is not just about sex
Especially for men, sex is about feeling connected to their partner and being intimate. Many men in long-term relationships say they feel most connected to their wives during and after sex. Unfortunately, many women have to feel connected emotionally before they want to have sex. Herein lies the difficulty; men need sex to feel connected and women need to feel connected to want sex.
What’s the solution? Make sure you set aside time to connect in both ways. Men; pour your wife a glass of wine and have a conversation with her, making sure you really listen to everything she is saying. Ask questions, make eye contact, hold her hand as she talks. This is the real foreplay. Women, when your husband initiates sex, even if you aren’t in the mood, realize that this is his way of saying “I want to be close to you” and see if you can figure out a way to get in the mood rather than just shutting him down. Most people find that once they are actually in it, they enjoy sex.
This one may seem obvious but it is so important to talk to your partner if you are dissatisfied with your sex life. There are ways to have this conversation without hurting your partner’s feelings and he or she might be feeling the same way but is afraid to bring it up. It’s normal to get in a sexual rut during a long-term relationship and there are many ways to overcome this but they all start with a conversation.
I hope this gives you a great start to add some spice into your sex life. And I hope you live a life with love and passion.
Your Matchmaker & Love Mentor,