Be honest to yourself, and look deep inside you and find the real reason why you are still single…
My dear, after all you have done, why are you still single?
Yes, it is the most invasive question – an unfair request for self-examination, a search for a fatal flaw, a justification for a lonesome walk.
You did meet someone, you went on a date, everything went well, and then you say goodbye. But you never heard from them again… What could possibly go wrong?
You did all the things you were told to do on a first date. You have a good decent job, you are successful and you look good as well. You’ve got interests and hobbies and you travel every now and then, you have a good place to call home, etc. What are you doing wrong? Why are you still single?
The point of this article isn’t to stereotype you. When it comes to dating and relationships, it’s hard not to feel that you are a victim. After all, others can be cruel; you will get hurt, and no, it isn’t always your fault.
It’s not them, it’s you. We hold more power over our romantic destiny than we often think.
And, for people, particularly those over 30, who are looking for answers to the puzzling question “why am I still single?”, here are some unconventional answers that lie within. Well, my dear, sorry to break it to you. But someone’s had do it if you’re going to get out of this “forever single” rut.
So, the question for the single person looking for love is: what are the internal challenges I need to face? Here is what my 30 years of experiences told me.
1. You don’t have relationship goals
Your standards for choosing life partner will change with time as you mature/ when things changes. There may be moments when you’re simply unsure of what you want in a relationship, and that’s totally ok. It could help to go on a date with a few different types of people; you’ll come out with a general idea of what traits attract you to a person and be better able to choose a partner you can be happy with.
Then you can slowly think about what you look for in a relationship and what type of life you want to live with your partner. This is not hard; you just need more time to really think about what you really want.
2. You are too defensive
I know you might have been hurt in your past relationships. Over the time, you close yourselves out from the possibilities of getting hurt again and build a defend wall inside you. This makes you may resist being too vulnerable or write people off too easily.
You may be wary of people who exhibit “too much” interest in you, and instead seek out connections that mimic your previous relationships. It isn’t always clear to see when we are being defensive. As a result, we tend to start blaming on external factors instead on admitting your own situation.
3. You are too picky
Being defensive leave us feeling pickier and more judgmental. This is particularly true after we’ve had bad experiences, where we were deceived or rejected by a person for whom we had strong feelings. This may be the culprit if you’re constantly being told: “you’re too picky”.
“But isn’t it good to be picky? After all, we’re choosing someone that we’re going commit to and spend most of our time with.”
That’s correct! However, there is a thin line between being picky and being selective. People who are selective evaluate possible relationships depending on their connection and chemistry with them. On the other side, nitpicky persons seek to achieve unreasonable demands.
For example, you walk away because you don’t like their way of talking. Wake up, there’s no such thing as a perfect person. Don’t sweat the small stuff; they’re irrelevant since they have no bearing on someone’s capacity to be a decent spouse. Be selective, don’t be nitpicky.
4. You can be so Full of Yourself
People have a tendency to believe that they are correct, that their beliefs or sentiments are correct, and they refuse to accept a decent, solid, working response from others. These are the processes that lead to someone not opening up to others or simply walking away. You then try to move on to another scenario that you believe would fit you better, hoping that this time it will prove you correct.
Well, there is actually no problem with being wrong and there is no way to change that. You just need to be more open and accepting. If you are smart enough and really want to be un-single, then you need to realize that you are not always right or always the top on the list.
5. Your are just ‘all talk’
You keep saying how much you want to be in a relationship, but in reality you did nothing to actually go out and meet anyone. Your future partner isn’t going to magically fly down from the sky. If you want them, you have to go get them!
If you say you don’t have time to actually go out and simply fine anyone, we Contact AJ, are here to help you with that. We provide many quality singles that are ready to meet their future partner, just like you.
There are no more excuses for you by saying you are too busy or don’t know where to actually meet someone good…
Seeking love isn’t an easy quest, it can be complicated and difficult, but it’s always best to take this journey on our own side. It’s critical to overcome the internal habits that prevent us from achieving our goals.
Single-and-ready-to-mingle but feeling nervous? Don’t be. You’ve got this. Remember: be confident!
Talk to you soon!
Yours in love and happiness,